My little guy starts preschool tomorrow. My older son starts third grade on Thursday. And I am starting yet another brand new blog. This one, unlike a New Year’s exercise regimen, I am determined to maintain.
Let me explain what’s up.
I have an incredibly conflicted relationship to being an author. Not the writing part. The writing part comes naturally, like having blue eyes or being a blubbering dork around celebrities. It’s the author part, the life of an author. Just yesterday, I was flipping through the NY Times Sunday Book Review and I saw my name listed as a participant at the upcoming Brooklyn Book Festival and I got that weird feeling inside, the same feeling I get when my name is announced and I’m about to step onto a stage. That’s not me. It’s my name. It’s my picture. But it’s not me.
My fractured identity is probably why I find it hard to blog and tweet and spam my Facebook friends with book news. I know it’s part of the job. I hope it helps sell my books. But it never feels like I’m giving the full story. Then again, how much of the full story do I want to tell? Do I talk about how I finish writing a novel and then basically forget that I ever wrote it (and therefore find it excruciating to talk about it)? Do I talk about my kids? No, it’s their life. Their privacy. But how can I post about my life without talking about my boys? They ARE my life. And on and on.
And so I retreat. This past hiatus has been since January. Jay Asher and I were on a book tour for The Future of Us. I woke up the last morning of a 9-city, 9-day tour and I missed my husband and sons like crazy. All I wanted was to be home. And I honestly couldn’t think of one more thing to say about The Future of Us. I loved writing this novel. I loved working with Jay. I am so proud of the book. But I was all talked and tweeted out. I was spent.
I flew back to NYC on the red-eye that night. I came home and hugged my family and cried and decided to put writing and speaking and publicizing on hold. I stayed with my toddler full-time, and cooked meals and read books and did Pilates.
And then, this spring, I got an idea for a new YA novel. I spent four months writing (my Harper editor has it now, waiting for her to return to NYC so we can discuss edits). Once my book was in, I began contemplating my big dilemma: Web Presence. And that’s when I decided, what the hell. Heck. Whatever. I enlisted my wonderful husband to help. He listened to my agonizing, sorted through exactly what I wanted, and then put together this simple website/blog that I can easily update.